Life Death n Reality

Afterall everyone has feeling of what life is like. But has anyone seen what it feels like to be close to some one who is alive and is about to go away from you forever. We might have friends which meet you for a while and then separate from you but you still miss em at times. Its a similar feeling with a intensity of much higher bonding.

Man takes a birth and from the minute he is born till the last breath he takes his mind is constantly in a motion thinking about one thing or the other. The last but not the least is even if you work all your life you work for your parents first, a little later it will be your wife and little later you will have your own family to look at. But the only point is does the human mind ever comes to a stand still ever in the whole life time of its existence.

Does anyone ever gets to be happy with his\her life ?? I do not know how good I am to write all this but just looking at the events of my life its become a machine with no point of placing my feelings between myself and my brain. It becomes equally stressed out and tensed with time that I cannot keep hold of my feelings. I feel like to be wanted, I feel to be loved and I want to free but at same time all these things dont come easy. My head never co-operates with my heart at the level it should.

All my good doings, my evil needs and my confused ideas mess me up from inside. I dont even know what purpose it will serve to write this and share it with all …. But yes, I am not what I might look like, I m not what the world thinks I am but what I am is all I know what I am. If to explain it in one word it is as simple as to say that Life is a one "Movie". In which I play a role of actor who is never at rest and all the lights are focussed on him always. I cant answer whats the best part of the movie besides the happiness is never a constant phenomenna. 

Today, my head is not in a constant stand but is unevenly burdened with feelings of my needs, my wants, my expectations from myself & what I have to do for all the people I am linked with ! Completely complicated then what it seems to be. Is money a big thing ? ?
If not, then why does every one runs behind it ?? Even to call some1 yours you have to do an effort which requires bloody money in one way or another …………. how pure am I ?

!!!! I want to Fly ……fly away from everyone……even myself .


2 thoughts on “Life Death n Reality

  1. Ming June 15, 2005 / 5:53 am


  2. Jyoti May 16, 2006 / 5:11 am

    Hi freebird,
    Guess on many occasions we all feel not so free and hemmed in by our own expectations as well as those of others .The toughest thing in my experience is the day you get to know yourself ,no holds barred and the illusions you operate upon  regarding yourself ,your identity ,and things you define yourself by,are totally shattered.Like the Buddha went into silence upon attaining enlightenment,I retreated into almost a months silence once the veils were lifteed ,not that I am anywhere close to enlightenment.But the wonder at which you have been able to consistently fool yourself and others truly shuts you up for a while. I think each of us has to make this journey within ,find pleasant and not so pleasant answers,but this I promise you ,theres a lot of peace once you have made the trip.As pritine as Kanda lake and you dont want to come back to Delhi then.And even if you have to, the reality of Kanda lake is always with you.I wish you luck in all your travels .

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