Incomplete

Incomplete……….

Thats how I will explain things in my life….Its just that I have not had one simple thing which I can say is complete …even these dreams of mine are incomplete without giving me a direction and leaving me stranded in middle of nowhere. Incomplete sleep for last – I dont know when ….was last time i slept .. I have had a tremendous power but that was challenged with my patience to test the pleasure of pain which still never is complete.
I know that there is a force within but that force has challenged me to the extreme’s and I know there is no getting back. My leg after a month of regular treatment has shown a bit improvement  but still no good as pain is testing me really hard… Life’s a challenge in itself but I always call myself a challenger. Not to prove it to others but to my own instincts that I am gud at what I am.  The ones who never understood me never will – I never wanted to stay forever but for the time I wanted – it was too short which you could possibly have not wondered – I would have gone before that ….
Trust – is one word which i will never and should never do But again I cant go against my own instincts – which always proves me wrong trusting people… Who is mine and who is not !
No one’s there for me when i want and I am always there for everyone without any second thoughts – aint this fair life ?? 
My Life – is for other – always cuz thats the way its been – I dont want anyone now to show me sympathy of being human and nice when they just dont know its all bullshit …….. I am better Off Alone – which atleasts brings me to face reality – My loneliness is killing me but its gud that I kill myself and start expecting myself to be nothing short of GOD ! To Err is to Human – Mistake is to Mankind!!
Time has made me go rougher on myself but thats what it has to be then.. I have had sudden change in myself since last few months that I have stopped complaining for anything , I see –  I have just gone one step further connecting to my patience – “Nothing is Permanent in this life is the teaching of Budhism.”
Besides knowing that “Everything must end and that end also has an end to itself. ”
So my challenge is to stay a challenger all my life and win like a Bird with a will to reach sky and beyond… not just a bird but A FREEBIRD !! An EAGLE or A HAWK or a A VULTURE !! Atleast I can see all the world below my eyes running for nothing but just a lust feeling
Another start ! No ! Its still the same but the road has changed….. My God has challenged me to the extent of it from where I will rise again – I will walk again –  I will run again and I must ……. stay Incomplete Still.
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