One more day in this life…

Day and day and another day ..life is passing by… and I am like stuck in the middle where only things around me have moved and me stuck with nothing but to just look at how things have gone…people have moved and I did nothing to move with the change.
 
Amazing how one dream can shatter you so much that when you get up u feel so sucked out that it should have never finished untill I could have completely lost my last breath. 3 months in succession with the pain that moved me from myself to hell has been absolute bewilderness. I cant blame others cuz no one wants to trust that its not me who has been the mistaken one always. I dont want to prove to the world when I know my heart speaks to me that I wasnt a wrong one… I still cant be wrong with innerself.. it lets me grow on myself.
 
Being alone has been my strength but also its my weakness. I hate to dream and that too the dreaded dreams of myself getting shattered again and again. I stopped sleeping and it went by… When I wanted that some1 to be by my side .. there was no one to be there …. my friends >who friends< Everyone has a busy life of thier own. To do something good for others always turns out to be other way around …. atleast I never had a bad content of ideas or thoughts that went through my head. 
 
World needs one to surive ..surive how .. money – materialistic world. Materialistic things which never are worth me … take what you want and give me what i need. A single soul who can try to stand by me when I need to can answer my questions. But that single soul is one that is scared of this world where you should have a name to the relation that you have. why ? Why ? should there be a name? I just want to be someone who wants to be Known for what all he did. Not for what the world did for him. World never did anything for me.. 
 
I take my pride in saying ‘I’  before I say what I did. Lyf sucks but not me.. I just believe in what I have is not mine but is for everyone around me. Each thing has its end but I hope not to see an end of myself before I reach that end. Heading toward another end of an year .. hope to put down a complete brief of what happened around the 12 months that made this year..year of disappointments – year 2005.
 
I want to ……….
live like a bird again
love like a human
learn like a child
leave myself alone
listen to my heart
lead like MaX. …..
 
I want to
forget my past
forgive my pals
 
 
I want to  ……………
Do so much that I should know that I did it all by myself .
Kill my pain .. kill my pain ..kill my pain
 
I am not scared but I just want what i need the most …
R U LISTENING ………….. I miss U all… give ma hug, show me da light, I want want want….
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5 thoughts on “One more day in this life…

  1. Manas December 21, 2005 / 6:20 pm

    amazing blog! It\’s gonna take me quite a while to go through all of this. MAni you dont come on yahoo these days?

  2. FreeBird's December 24, 2005 / 4:31 pm

    Nopes power, Im not on yahoo these days .. just msn works fine for me..

  3. Manas December 26, 2005 / 1:51 am

    Hey mani add me on msn with the same yahoo address that you\’ve added me on yahoo messenger.

  4. A. January 30, 2006 / 6:19 am

    **Hugs**
    seems like you need loads of them.
     
    🙂
    A.
     

  5. Vibhu February 8, 2006 / 11:03 am

    Shit happens man. and Life goes on.the 2 truths of life I guess – at least that\’s what I have figured out till now.The more important one is the 2nd one – life goes one. We can lament "why me" to kingdom come – but that will only cause resentment. The only thing you can do is to pick yourself up and go on. You don\’t know the future, but that\’s the whole point. If you keep looking back at the past – you lockyourself out of any oppotunities in the fure. But , keep yourself open to the tomorrow, and most of the difficulties dissolve in the dusts of time. Keep Riding. Keep Smiling.

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