Unable to express myself today – seems like too much in the head and none to output those eternal yet conflicting thoughts all in the very darkest of the corners inside the head. It appears nonetheless the more consistent but rather a step towards outgrowing myself whether it appears to be in my age, my thoughts, my maturity, my levels of seeing things and above all the changes that have made me see this world so differently. A life that bloomed as innocent, yet pure and very unaware of the world has come to the terms of seeing how unsafe it is to be innocent, unclever and unclear of your own aims in life.
There is a fine line of understanding yourself to the world and where you separate yourself from that second self which is on the line of fire with the external world – the battle of survival, the job, money which takes you into a different realm that has no end till you die. But the one that should keep you alive is the one that in inside you. Playing two sides to a coin has not been my way of life but that it is undeniably true to the real terms of life that you cannot keep yourself as one to play in this world. The time changes with the age, the way we live, the way we exist and the way we love – it all changes with our surroundings. The passion of doing something passionately is onto how lively you are – that fine line of sensibility, that makes you full fill your obligations towards life that comes all with age.
To divide myself on to the two sides of the coin has divided those features of excellence into halves of challenging myself. Even to adore that we have and to enjoy what we have – we must have a clear air of ourselves. Everything that divides me is making it half of me, the love that I have for everything in this life including myself is true and is lived through the open thoughts of being myself without being it in halves. I love you my dear, I love this life and I love being who I am – the fine sense that I have enjoyed and want to enjoy will only come with the age.
Aah.. I am eluded by these thoughts and I must come down to this earth again – take on the life with the full force of my real talents. The way to live in this life is getting to your targets the way no one else can guide you to them. You, me and all of us live this for somethings that we want and for those who have already achieved this – we must remember that there is always something makes us live for the next day. We must cherish, live these moments and try to keep them coming back to our life. I have done plenty of things that make me happy – plenty of things that makes me alive – plenty of travel that one can do without planning – to this life, I want to have my Cheers. But with age, as I mentioned – the Winds of change – must knock on my door as I feel today – the day has come when I must – I must observe myself to my desires to my demand and to all of the above – my aims.
On a peronal note, I live this moment so that I come and take this to all those highs that shall be mine. I want to live and live like what I have – A FreeBird ..