Solace

Defined as…

In my eyes, the soul and the living existence:

Bare matter of choices I have made

Rights, wrongs and the wishful

There never seems to be the time to rewind

To look, to play, the depths seems unreal

Feelings, connections, emotions, so easily reputed

Pungent, toxic and unrealistic everything becomes in time

Trust, care and belonging has no meaning.. it’s totally an excreta of one’s self harmonious presence

Goodbyes are easier, hellos most welcoming and in-between all else nothing one needs to ever know

From one most colorful life to grey and black …it was all one trip down the memory lane

Lost, broken, irreparable .. conjurs this moment

In the end – not for all, no-one, this world.. Time shapes what I gave up in essence of what was my Solace, drawn to myself, to be blind with open eyes, world screws, red cards, green cards, meditations, endless fake inspirations, nothing is more deep but losing your inner solace -it just never will return, like a perfect tide, never the same as one before but always seemingly returning to be lost forever once the depths are gone. Truism is how other want it to imagine but you know in depths, you know this Solace

Sometimes (say most of the times), we are our best friend and the worst enemies. – M.B. [Life:1619]

Changing Times

Be who you want to be.

“We all are on the constant change”

Sometimes we realise it too soon and sometimes it takes too long to realise that we have been a part of this change which is moving us all the time. The time that is restless, shapeless and boundless of structures in which it comes. The time I am talking here is the invisible bit that moves us with its quiet motion. We all are part of it and none of us belong to it. This double faceted motion of time is linked quite deep inside us – We just belong to it.

For a good long while since I have been back from my longest Europe trip – there has been subtle settlement in my life which makes me feel that I have sunk into the routines of life and wish to overcome it in every possible way. Something that has been a silent killer for most of things I have been doing in life so far. Photography, Travel and writing the main three pillars of creative, adventure self have seen a dull days in as long as I can remember. Time seem to have left me in a frozen moment with all that I used to be and has taken me into the next bit where I am more surrounded by the people of professions who have limits of how far they can take ahead into this fake success of helping you achieve a “title” that can define you. Knowing myself and this game of people that they make you part of this enterprise seems to kill me really hard. I know that I will break this very soon and won’t be part of this change that seems to be engulfing me deep in this unsound routine of enterprise model we all want to live in.

Being so close to the change and seeing myself change – I am entitled to accept that I don’t like how this world makes us shrink, stress and suffer in its ties to the employers, the materialistic world and money. I hate to be one of you but I know I am not one that belongs to this masses out there – the challenge is all about living besides the child within me is always reminding me to break away and be free again. I see that day is not far that I will be free from this uneasy want of being a modern slave engulfed to the needs and supplies of other big enterprise models who know how to exploit your good for sake of their profits for the little they can pay you back in the package of monthly salaries. We are all part of it somewhere but the perk of happiness is just as little as a holiday or a break once in few months. Just don’t see myself being in this strange monotony of routines that makes me a human with lifecycle of growing up and giving up. The stages from a child – to man to greatness everyone wants to be – to ultimate the deathbed. I don’t want to be but that is what the time makes one realise – the depth of your happiness is something that is within you. If you have a connection to yourself – you will seek the content of your happiness is not bound to be what the world wants you to be but what you can be yourself.

With love to life, I see that we all have the potential to be happy but many deny this because they are modern slaves of their double faceted mentality of being over smart to show their power over others. This takes us no where in personal growth but just makes slump to fight this race with our face in the fight to survive. I am glad to be back and seeing how the Changing Times make me see this life we all are part of. Some in glory of it and some in doom of it – we are in it somewhere. Be considerate of what you give to others because it all comes back to you from others in ways you may not realise. #BeHumble

Winds of change

Unable to express myself today – seems like too much in the head and none to output those eternal yet conflicting thoughts all in the very darkest of the corners inside the head. It appears nonetheless the more consistent but rather a step towards outgrowing myself whether it appears to be in my age, my thoughts, my maturity, my levels of seeing things and above all the changes that have made me see this world so differently. A life that bloomed as innocent, yet pure and very unaware of the world has come to the terms of seeing how unsafe it is to be innocent, unclever and unclear of your own aims in life.

There is a fine line of understanding yourself to the world and where you separate yourself from that second self which is on the line of fire with the external world – the battle of survival, the job, money which takes you into a different realm that has no end till you die. But the one that should keep you alive is the one that in inside you. Playing two sides to a coin has not been my way of life but that it is undeniably true to the real terms of life that you cannot keep yourself as one to play in this world. The time changes with the age, the way we live, the way we exist and the way we love – it all changes with our surroundings. The passion of doing something passionately is onto how lively you are – that fine line of sensibility, that makes you full fill your obligations towards life that comes all with age.

To divide myself on to the two sides of the coin has divided those features of excellence into halves of challenging myself. Even to adore that we have and to enjoy what we have – we must have a clear air of ourselves. Everything that divides me is making it half of me, the love that I have for everything in this life including myself is true and is lived through the open thoughts of being myself without being it in halves. I love you my dear, I love this life and I love being who I am – the fine sense that I have enjoyed and want to enjoy will only come with the age.

Aah.. I am eluded by these thoughts and I must come down to this earth again – take on the life with the full force of my real talents. The way to live in this life is getting to your targets the way no one else can guide you to them. You, me and all of us live this for somethings that we want and for those who have already achieved this – we must remember that there is always something makes us live for the next day. We must cherish, live these moments and try to keep them coming back to our life. I have done plenty of things that make me happy – plenty of things that makes me alive – plenty of travel that one can do without planning – to this life, I want to have my Cheers. But with age, as I mentioned – the Winds of change – must knock on my door as I feel today – the day has come when I must – I must observe myself to my desires to my demand and to all of the above – my aims.

On a peronal note, I live this moment so that I come and take this to all those highs that shall be mine. I want to live and live like what I have – A FreeBird ..