Old Habits Die Hard

True that, it is not that I don’t give up but it is just the case that habits don’t leave me. The process of growing up happens in increments along that comes the time when the brain is surrounded by the elements of distraction and attraction. The older we grow the more subtle we come in terms of who we are and what we want to be.

Life becomes a routine of non-stop changes that always influence us to learn something new and subtract something from this equation of our daily routines. One such thing that happens to me each time that makes me feel low on myself is the emotions of not being able to fight back when it comes to replying back. The insecurities from the world around me always force me to be at ease with being relaxed to my surroundings. Being harsh to the people or rather the ones that I spend most of my during the day where I work, it simply feels not right and kind of perfect exposure. Something many of us definitely may not agree with this but it’s my own pure expression of how it works with me. Going back to the title that “Old Habit, Die Hard” – I simply wish to overcome this phase of being gentle to the people where they just feel like the boss, when they are not and not understanding that they have been in the shoes of their own mistakes but appreciating an acceptance is hard for those people.

As a child something I was told to be respectable to others while they are the member of your family, friends and strangers. Was that something wrong to grow up with. Something that I would not want to pass on to the next generation. There are too many questions that come to my mind whether it was all in my upbringing that I was not brought up with the wild face of life or is it just that these logics don’t work in the world where I live in now than from the world I grew up in.  Habitats are definitely a huge influence on our habitats. To the same effect it is fairly visible all across different phases of our lives the habits that we grew up on and how they influence our present lives.

Do I want to change myself of being gentle to others in terms of how they are, In fact I do but I am always pushed back to my old habits of not being ludicrous and over killing my character. Heck, wait on – I just realised of my ex-gf(Not that I want to pick up on her but as an individual) she being not appreciative about the fact that she gets everything she wants and not able to thank in return. In return what I was to get is the impatient behaviour of her allowing her to push me over my limits of calm and subtle behaviour leading me to give her up completely. I was pushed from her because she simply was more aggressive to the fact that I am not aggressive. Same shit another day another place, it goes on. Each time I turn to myself thinking that it needs to be changed the old force gets over the new slowly without even me being aware of it. Self-changes to the character are the hardest to makes when the world surrounding us is ever in changing dimensions of good, bad & ugly. More or less call it – Fuck mate, not again. Have you ever been challenged by things thoughts or emotions with which you feel the same !! Have you won this battle between yourself and the changes of your mind? Did you ever think of killing your old Habits and really killed them.

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You

What in the world is your worth!! Have you ever thought of yourself as a person who lived all your life the circles of this usual vicious life but have lost that touch to your own inner-self.

Today that I see everyone giving ideas, thoughts and selling themselves to be the one who they actually either were or want to be. But in all this, what the basic moral of life they tend to skip – is to be one with you. We all want the modern gadgetry of this apple world and the modern tablets but does that really makes you live your real life. The virtual phenomenon of existence has brought us down many steps from what the real life .. The REAL YOU used to be.

Emotions of life, from the time you are born till the time you die. Someone who never gets to see the life and cease his existence before even reaching this life and the ones who make it to life bring joys to the life of their parents and till the moment they leave they leave the emptiness of their warmth if they ever maintained it. Somewhere in all this belongs all our emotions, fears, love, lust, desires, longingness and above all the need to be one with self standing along with someone who can make you feel that – “You” are the real milestone of your own life.
Without no logical reasoning, we all make our bonds with our parents as we are born to them. We live to leave them behind for a logical reasoning of exploring ourselves and find partner. Have Children to keep the logic of our existence going and then decide to live hoping with the logic one day our children might want to come and be with us. For all the above logics, do we really give ourself some time to think from our real self? How much do we belong to ourselves? Are we doing this justice of being ourself but not being with your own self in real sense? Our dependencies break us but that seems the only way for existence when the world has shrunk into the virtual hole of iPads and iPods and iTouches and FaceBook status updates.

Do you really exist for the moment of life !! Then when was the last time you really wondered about this life and said – I am going to connect to myself. Today I see we all are machines, robots and humanoids in the hands of technology which is needed but do we see ourselves as really social beings “A BIG QUESTION” stands right in front of you. I feel the need to be myself and I decide of bringing that peace in my life away from these hassles of worries, love, lust, relationships, and unwanted creed of being in surrounded company of people who would not recognize you if you were to be away for a week from their lives.

The connection of you to your own self is within you. If you find this to be more than boring, think again or just leave now. I only express what I learned, saw and collected travelling the bounds of cities and the most remote places on earth. If you are not on the plane of self stability, the life will shrink like air out of balloon with a small leak in it. Yes, we fall sick and most of the times its only our emotions that make us fall sick. We are not in tandem with our own emotions, we can connect but lose our focus as soon we see the next person in our life.
My solo experience of being and learning who I am – I contribute it to Myself, when I can see within myself, identify my real purpose of life. I am here and I am never here – what really belongs here is only inside you. The feelings, the emotions, the words of tarnished experience that I collected – I feel we all have these things within us. Do we ever try to sit in peace and see outside our busy scheduled modern lives. If not, its almost time for you to connect within yourself. If you can’t and want to know how you can do it .. drop me a line(Babbar.mani@gmail.com). I am not going to change your life but share the simple facts of life that connect you to yourself. The thoughts are from the within, we all have them but to find the focus out of them to be who we are – is where the life and the tricks of life challenge us. If someone who has the reason to get you connected, it is not because the money is the only thing in life. The other part of you inside you – does not live on money but lives on rent inside your heart for which you never even want to acknowledge its presence. Make this little fella your real friend and see how the bounds of life around you want to make you feel the energy surrounding your existence.